Why Do Mothers and Daughters in Little Fires Everywhere Pass Each Other in the Dark?

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng was published by Penguin Press in 2017 and was widely regarded as one of the best novels of the year. Earlier reviews highlighted the novel’s criticism of class divisions, racism and American suburban life. They also identified motherhood as its central theme, raising the question of what makes someone a good mother.

However, the central conflict of the novel goes beyond these topics. It also explores the unfulfilled expectations of the Warren and Richardson daughters, who turn away from their mothers and towards idealised versions of the women they represent. Mia Warren and Elena Richardson embody opposing ways of life, and their daughters are drawn to what they believe is missing from their own families. In addition, the complex relationship between Elena and her youngest daughter, Isabelle “Izzy”, is explored through the lens of maternal anxiety, control and the need for acceptance.

Elena’s Shuttered Life

Elena’s ambition was to work for a major newspaper, the Plain Dealer, a “real newspaper”, as she saw it. However, she eventually stayed at the Sun Press, partly because of her children. While her colleagues advanced in their careers, Elena spent year after year going on maternity leave, which caused her own career to stagnate. Another reason was that she no longer had the desire to move to a new position. She had settled into covering small, feel-good stories for a local newspaper, and perhaps the security of a job she had held for so long was enough to keep her there. There was also the reality of her situation: the chances of a major newspaper hiring a woman approaching forty, with four children and no experience covering major, serious stories, were probably slim.

Elena’s life unfolded exactly as she had planned it. In 1980, she gave birth to her eldest daughter, Lexie. Trip arrived the following year, followed by Moody a year later, and Izzy a year after that. Her first three pregnancies and deliveries went smoothly, but her pregnancy with Izzy was difficult, accompanied by vomiting and dizziness. After experiencing bleeding, Elena was put on bed rest, but Izzy was born shortly afterwards, eleven weeks prematurely. She spent the first few months of her life in an incubator, while doctors warned Elena about the possible developmental complications her youngest child might experience.

The traumatic experience left Elena prone to anxiety, particularly when it came to Izzy. Although she had largely suppressed her memories of those first few months, simply looking at Izzy was enough to bring her anxiety back. As a result, Elena strictly supervises and attempts to control Izzy, driven by fears rooted in the past, while Izzy constantly resists her mother’s restrictions. Izzy’s rebellious and free-spirited nature stands in stark contrast to Elena’s need for order and control, even though Elena herself was much like Izzy when she was young. Their conflict also stems from Elena’s inability to understand her own daughter. While Elena suffocates Izzy with her attempts to control her, Izzy continually provokes and defies her mother.

The Core of Mother–Daughter Conflict

Mrs Richardson’s need to control Izzy’s life can also be viewed through the concept of vulnerable child syndrome. This term describes a pattern in which parents perceive their child as especially fragile or at risk, sometimes following a serious illness or medical trauma early in life. Even after the immediate danger has passed, the parents’ fear of losing the child may persist and influence their parenting. Research on parental perceptions of child vulnerability and vulnerable child syndrome has examined how the emotional trauma associated with a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) stay can contribute to these fears.

Because Izzy was born prematurely and spent the first few months of her life in an incubator, Elena experienced fear and helplessness at a time when she could do little to protect her daughter. It is therefore possible to interpret her later behaviour as an attempt to prevent the dangers she once feared. She treats Izzy as though she remains fragile and vulnerable, even when Izzy is trying to establish her independence.

Ng’s portrayal of Izzy also invites a closer look at the possible long-term effects of premature birth and early medical stress. Research into preterm infants has examined differences in early development, parent–infant interaction and responses to stress. However, premature birth does not necessarily lead to lasting emotional difficulties, and Izzy’s impulsiveness should not be understood as a direct consequence of her medical history. Rather, within the novel, her behaviour can be read as a response to the tension between her own need for freedom and her mother’s persistent attempts to protect and discipline her. What Mrs Richardson sees as rebellious behaviour that needs to be corrected may also reflect a young person struggling to make herself understood.

The early separation of a mother and child during a stay in a neonatal intensive care unit can also complicate the early bonding process. Research on preterm infants and their parents has examined the challenges of separation, parental distress and the development of early attachment, although these experiences do not inevitably result in attachment difficulties later in life. In the case of Elena and Izzy, the emotional distance between them seems to be reinforced by Elena’s need for control and predictability, rather than warmth and acceptance.

Because of Elena’s approach, Izzy quickly recognises what she feels is missing from her relationship with her mother when she meets Mia. Mia is the complete opposite of Elena Richardson. She is artistically chaotic, unpredictable and warm, but, most importantly, she does not try to control or fix Izzy. Mia’s world gives Izzy space to nurture her artistic side and a sense of freedom from her mother’s expectations. Their connection offers Izzy something she struggles to find at home: the feeling that she can be understood without having to change who she is.

Maternal Longings: Substitute Mothers and Daughters

When Mia takes Izzy under her wing, she does it reluctantly, because she does not want to become too emotionally attached and knows that Elena would disapprove. Mia generally follows a rule of never becoming attached to anyone or to the places where she and Pearl happen to live, as it makes leaving easier. Nevertheless, Mia accepts the role of mentor when Izzy asks her to teach her about art, because she understands that Izzy’s request comes from a deeper need rather than mere curiosity or desire.

When Mia and Pearl enter their lives, the relationship between Elena and Izzy deteriorates further. Elena is bothered by Izzy’s obsession with Mia and feels as though she is losing her daughter. Izzy, meanwhile, is drawn to Mia’s free-spirited lifestyle and soon begins to fantasise about Mia being her mother instead of Elena. At the same time, Pearl imagines herself as part of the Richardson family because they embody stability and structure, something she craves.

Until then, Mia and Pearl have lived a nomadic life, travelling from place to place. This way of living has largely accommodated Mia’s artistic needs, as she draws inspiration from the places in which they happen to find themselves. Their relationship is harmonious until they settle in Shaker Heights and Pearl meets the Richardson's. The family quickly becomes an object of fascination for Pearl, representing a settled and predictable life that is very different from the one she has always known.

Pearl is intelligent and well-read, but also naive. She falls in love with the Richardson's and everything they represent. Eager to be accepted, she even offers to write Lexie’s Yale admissions essay for her. Lexie, meanwhile, is a reflection of her mother. She is superficial and obsessed with status, and she both exploits and pities Pearl. She sees Pearl in much the same way her mother sees Mia: as a voluntary charity case. Mia quickly recognises Pearl’s obsession with the family and accepts Elena’s offer to work for the Richardsons as a housekeeper and cook, allowing her to keep a closer eye on Pearl. Pearl reacts negatively, believing that her mother’s presence is an invasion of her privacy. For Mia, however, accepting the job is also a way of remaining close to her daughter at a time when Pearl is increasingly drawn towards another family and another way of life.

Lexie is presented as a copy of her mother: perfect, successful and calculating. Yet when she becomes pregnant and chooses to terminate the pregnancy, she turns to Pearl for help rather than to Elena. At her most vulnerable, Lexie runs away from her mother because she knows that revealing her vulnerability and the consequences of her choices would shatter Elena’s illusion of perfection. Instead of facing the disappointment she fears her mother would express, Lexie finds herself embraced by Mia, who offers her a safe space without judgement.

This moment reveals another side of the mother–daughter conflict. Although Lexie appears to embody everything Elena values, their relationship does not necessarily provide the emotional safety Lexie needs when she is no longer able to maintain that image of perfection. Mia, who is not Lexie’s mother, is able to offer the acceptance she struggles to seek from her own. In this way, Ng presents motherhood not simply as a biological relationship, but also as an emotional role that can be shaped by care, understanding and the ability to accept another person’s vulnerability.

Setting Little Fires Everywhere: A New Beginning

Izzy’s decision to set the family home on fire is not simply an act of revenge. It can also be read as her final attempt to set herself free and destroy the façade of a perfect family life, making room for something more authentic to emerge. The fire is an extreme and destructive act, but it also gives physical form to the tensions that have been building beneath the surface of the Richardson household.

Throughout the novel, Elena tries to preserve the life she has carefully constructed, believing that order and control will protect her family. Yet the more she attempts to shape her children according to her own expectations, the more distant they become from her. Izzy’s rebellion exposes the limits of Elena’s carefully maintained world: a life that appears perfect from the outside can still leave its members feeling unseen and misunderstood.

The contrast between Elena and Mia also shows that neither motherhood nor family life can be reduced to a single ideal. Elena offers stability, structure and material security, while Mia offers freedom, warmth and acceptance. Both women care deeply about their daughters, but their different approaches reveal how easily care can become control when fear takes over. Their daughters, in turn, look beyond their own families in search of qualities they feel are missing from their lives.

Ultimately, Little Fires Everywhere suggests that mothers and daughters can love one another and still fail to understand one another. Their expectations, fears and unspoken needs create emotional distance, even when they are living under the same roof. The tragedy of Elena and Izzy’s relationship is not simply that they are different, but that Elena struggles to see her daughter as she is, rather than as the vulnerable child she once feared losing. The fire may destroy the Richardson home, but the deeper question remains whether the family can move beyond the roles and expectations that have kept them apart. A new beginning becomes possible only when the desire to protect gives way to the willingness to listen, understand and accept.

This article relates to Little Fires Everywhere, Elena Richardson, Izzy, Lexie, Mia Warren, Pearl, motherhood, vulnerable child syndrome, mother, daughter, relationships

Sources:

Ng, Celeste. Little Fires Everywhere. Penguin Press, 2017.

Hoge, Margaret K., et al. “Reduction of Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) Parental Perceptions of Child Vulnerability and Risk of Vulnerable Child Syndrome Utilizing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Randomized Controlled Trial.” Pediatric Research, vol. 99, no. 1, 2026, pp. 254–62, https://doi.org/10.1038/s41390-025-04094-x.

Kim, Soo-Yeon, and Ah Rim Kim. “Attachment and Relationship Based Interventions during NICU Hospitalization for Families with Preterm/Low-Birth Weight Infants: A Systematic Review of RCT Data.” International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, vol. 19, no. 3, 2022, article 1126, https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph19031126.